How to Get Off of Facebook- And Stay Off

Complete- Drop #47: Wean Myself from Social Media

  
      Let me just say this: if you are one of the 175 Million People who log in to Facebook at least once a day, there is no weaning yourself. It's similar to a drug. How many cigarette smokers are addicted and yet choose to only have one cigarette each week? Not many. Sure, it happens, but the reality is that very few individuals are able to control the urge to check their accounts, especially when it's just a mouse click or finger-tap away.

     Sure, Facebook has its benefits. I can now easily connect with people from all different periods in my life. I can easily organize an event, check up on my favorite product, an announcement easily reaches an important target audience- people I know.
     Bored? How easy it is to fulfill my desire for instant satisfaction and a relief to my boredom! It is this underlying concept that makes social sites such as Facebook so addicting. Instant connections, instant boredom relief!

     Facebook has its drawbacks as well. If you are a daily user, the site is bound to cumulatively take up a good amount of time out of your day. Much of this time is spent wandering aimlessly around the site, 'FB stalking' others profiles, etc. It's only human nature to be curious, but never before has there been such a tool that has catered to that curiosity.



     One of the more prominent concerns about Facebook is regarding privacy. Facebook has recently become a tool that employers, schools or others have used against individuals who have not taken in to consideration the possible consequences or backlash of questionable pictures, posts or comments. It's not too uncommon to hear of teachers losing their job,arrests being made, students losing a scholarship or facing expulsion  due to content on Facebook. Fact is, many of us don't think about who we are connected with, and who may be connected to them.

     I have been on two Facebook Sabbaticals, once for a month and another time for four months. After each time I have felt invigorated, more connected with myself and my surroundings, and have been able to refocus my thoughts and actions on what really matters: the real world. I always feel confident that I will not go back to my obsessive status checking ways. Despite good intentions, it simply comes down to the fact that Facebook is too easily accessible. I find myself checking every day. Thus, my conclusion: Addicted to Facebook? There is no weaning from it.

       Regardless of your viewpoints on social media, you may have come to the decision that maintaining an identity on Facebook is no longer healthy for yourself, your relationship, or your life. Maybe you're just overwhelmed by the interconnectedness of technology. Whatever the reason, you're one of the few who are ready to shun Facebook and move on with life. So, if you are serious about getting back to reality, read on.  This is what worked for me. Try the following steps:



Step 1: Take a Facebook Sabbatical

      Stay away for at least a month. Remove all the little bookmarks you have on your computer, and delete the app off your smart phone. By taking a sabbatical you are allowing yourself the opportunity to reconnect with your world, get some stuff accomplished, and see just how you feel about the whole thing. You will probably feel a bit of withdrawal the first week or so, and find yourself subconsciously typing the website address in the URL. Stick with it! Take comfort in knowing that this isn't permanent; it's just a break. It never killed anybody to spend a few weeks Facebook free.

    This will also give you time to find yourself a 'Facebook Replacement'. The goal here is to find out what makes Facebook so appealing to you and then find some alternatives. If part of the appeal was that it gave you something to do when you were bored, you'll probably find yourself mindlessly trolling the news, YouTube, or other sites. Try to find a website that will be productive or educational, or pick up a book. This blog becomes that outlet for me during my sabbaticals.
     If the appeal of Facebook was the connections you made with friends, send some emails or make some phone calls. Arrange a get-together with a few friends. I do this every time I am back in my hometown, and the vibe is something that could never be replaced in the virtual world.

After your sabbatical, you may feel one of a few ways: 

1. You're all set! You decide to delete your account.
2. You decide to keep the account, but not to log on again.
3. You're confident! You can log on to Facebook every week or so, but surely not every day like you used to.
4. You're feeling good, so let's log back in and see how it goes.

     Any of these are fine. The point of the sabbatical is so that you can regain self control by maintaining the urge to log back on while giving yourself the opportunity to explore other outlets. But, as stated by CNBC, many people who do decide to deactivate do so more than once, and almost all of them come back.  Regardless of the category you fall in above, chances are you will have quickly fallen back in to your old Facebooking ways.

     So, if the result of the Sabbatical is that you're logging back in afterwards anyways, what's the point?

     The point is, just going ahead and deleting your account is not necessarily successful. But, now that you have taken the sabbatical, you have a good idea of what life will be like without Facebook, and what to expect. It's a baby step, and much more likely to happen than actually deleting your account.

     If you are feeling good about wanting to get rid of your account, go on to Step #2.



Step 2: Let Your Facebook Friends Know

      You can do this in an update or as a message. Either way, make sure to go through your list of friends and decide who you actually want to keep in contact with outside of Facebook. Personally send these people a message with an email address they can send the information to in case they don't get back to you too quickly.
      You're not dying. There's no reason not to stay connected with those on Facebook that actually matter to you. I think you will find, however, that out of the hundreds of friends that you have, few will actually get a personal message.

     **A pretty easy way to get people's email addresses or phone numbers is simply to go on to their profile page and click on their info. I was amazed at how many people decided to put up this information and more! Make sure to update your primary email account's address book if you use Facebook as your primary messager to friends.

Step 3: Buy an Old-Fashioned Address Book

     If you don't have one already, you will quickly find that an old-fashioned address book is not an easy find these days! On my trip to Target there was only one style, and it was organized based on relationship- clearly designed based off of social media sites. I found a less-than-satisfactory one at Wal-Mart, which I bought. It was the only design they offered and there was only one left. If you don't mind waiting a few days you can order some nice address books at Amazon, or you can try a paper store either locally or in the mall.



    Gather the information sent to you about your friends' addresses, telephone, email, etc. and record them! Manually writing your friends' information and physically seeing it on paper is, in a way, reassuring. you can see, smell, touch, hear and taste it (if you wanted...); something you can't get if you save them all in to a word document. These names and addresses are now a part of the tangible world and separates them from the virtual.



Step 4: Download a Copy of your Facebook Data

     Just because you are deactivating your account does not mean that you should lose all your pictures, posts, old messages, etc. You can request Facebook download a copy of your data. Note: This is going to take a very long time! Be patient, and don't be surprised if you have to wait a few hours, if not a couple of days. Don't fret: This will give you some time to post comments, statuses, troll, etc.

     To request a download of your Data: Account Settings > General> Download a Copy.
    
     Once you have submitted your request you will wait for an email. To see if your request is still underway, click Download a Copy again. You'll get a screen like this:

     Within the next day or so you will receive an email with a link. My email said that the download had failed. I clicked the link anyways and it was fine. Either way, click the link and you are brought here:

     Go ahead and enter your password. Now you're brought to a link where you are welcome to download your files. Go ahead and click it. Using Internet Explorer, a banner pops up on the bottom asking what you want to do with the files. Go ahead and save them. It took less than a minute for my files to download.

*Note: By downloading your archive you are copying everything- from your pictures and posts to comments you have made and chats you have saved. If you just want pictures and videos, it is much quicker to save these yourself. Skip this altogether if you don't want any of your Facebook data saved.

  

     After you have saved your files, you can go in and delete the ones that you may not have wanted to download. Everything is organized fairly well.

    
Step 5: Deactivate or Delete: which one should I do?


     Deactivating and deleting are two different things! Deactivating simply removes your profile until you decide to log back in. Unless you request otherwise, you can still be tagged, invited, and commented about. Deleting removes your profile from Facebook. You cannot be tagged, invited, etc. Believe it, bringing yourself to click that button is the battle. Once it's done, the hard part is over.

To Deactivate your Account:

     The sign of a weak soul... So you're not as positive about the whole thing as you thought you were, eh? Deactivating your account is hardly deleting it. In fact, you can reactivate it at any time simply by logging in. Well, it's a step in the right direction, anyways.

Okay, ready? Account Settings > Security > Deactivate your Account. Now you'll see this:

     Awwww that's nice. Look at all the people who are going to miss me... Click the email opt out option, unless you want people to go tag crazy or whatnot behind your back. Continue on and follow the prompt to enter password and copy captcha, and you're deactivated. See how long you can go before you give in.

To Delete your Account:

     If you are really serious about removing Facebook from your life, go ahead and delete it! I promise you'll be a much more productive person.

     Before you delete, make sure you have disconnected any joint accounts you may be logging in to through Facebook (ex. Hulu, Facebook app on phone). Logging in to these accounts could potentially cancel your request to delete.

     To delete your Facebook, Click HERE!

     This will lead you to the following message:

  And if you should decide to follow through:

         See? No need to worry. If, within the next two weeks you go through withdrawal you can still reactivate your account. Once you hit that delete button, though, you may just feel a weight lifted from your shoulders! Life will go on. People will still call you, email you, and let you know when there's something going on. You won't be left out of anything important. I promise.

Step 5: Move on with Your Life!

Relaxxxxxx......

     Don't look back! Hopefully during your sabbatical you found some niches that filled your free time. Maybe you rediscovered some hobbies you haven't had time for, or unearthed some old projects you've put off for a while. Email or call your friends when you want to know what's going on in thier life or share what's going on in yours like they used to do in the good old days (heaven forbid you send someone a letter!).

     Passionate about something? Start a blog! Or simply spend the time connecting with the people who play a role in your life on a more constant basis. I'm sure there's plenty of things that we used to do five years ago before the Facebook boom that are still relevant today!

     I must say that as soon as I had done it, I literally felt a wave of calm wash over me. Being on the sabbaticals before I knew that I really wasn't missing much, and that there were plenty of other things that I could be start doing right away (such as update this blog!). I'd collected everybody's information and email addresses, so I didn't feel disconnected from the world. Everybody was still just a click away. In fact, after I had deleted my account I checked my email and already there was a message from a friend waiting for me! Reading and writing the response felt that much more personal.

     Feeling weak? Here are a few sites to inspire you to stay on track:

Join my Google+ Group! - No longer on Facebook? Join my small yet humble group to link with others who have given up the Facebook craze.

Facebook Syndrome: 8 Ways to Beat your Facebook Addiction- Not sure if you're addicted? Need some extra tips on how to stay off? This site may help.

Facebook is Down, God Help- How did people survive the Great Facebook Crash of 2010?
The Social Network 2- A pretty funny trailer. What if Mark Zuckerberg deleted Facebook and then committed suicide?
38 Things You Could Do With the Time You Spend on Facebook- Self-explanatory
How To Suck at Facebook- I sure won't be missing any of these characters!
Fantasy Creature Facebook Updates- So much funnier than the woe-is-me or random nobody cares updates we're used to seeing!
The Facebook Resisters- A fairly well referenced article by the New York Times.
Losing Friends- A well thought out article featuring a few people who have successfully quit Facebook, the psychological effects that the network had on them, and how they aren't looking back

RIP Stephanie's Facebook. To mourn your death, here is a compilation of some of my past posts. You won't be missed.